Why hello, twenty-twelve...

Not much of a fan of resolutions, I do like to give each year a theme and make a list of goals. {2009 was Simplicity, 2010 was Happiness, 2011 was living Authentically...} 

If you've been reading here long, it probably won't surprise you that my theme for 2012 is: 

Health

By health, of course, I mean body/spirit/mind/relationships... 

After spending an entire week off, with Chw and the girls (granted, Amanda had to work, but I didn't- which was my point) i've been thinking a lot about my goals in the year to come. With one girl heading off for training  education and adventure- and another one entering her teens- 2012 is sure to be a WILD ride of a year... 

Me and my health: 

- Cut back on wheat significantly, if not entirely. 

- Be more proactive with my naturopath. 

- lose at least one pound per week. 

Personal: 

- read, at least, one book a month FOR ME... 

- spend quiet/personal/devotional time, daily. 

- learn new things. 

- proceed fearlessly. 

- act intentionally, in everything. 

Professional: 

- Put an ending to Liar, and edit it. 

- QUERY!!!

- Attend a Writer's Conference. 

- Be more disciplined about clearly dividing my work-at-home time and my home time. 

Financial: 

- Pay down debt significantly. 

- Increase my contributions. 

- Give more, and regularly. 

- Spend more thoughtfully/justifiably. 

Marital: 

- Plan with, dream with, talk with, pray with Chw- weekly. 

- Retreat, for a weekend, over both anniversaries. (April and November) 

- Conscience, constant efforts to respect him. 

As a Mother: 

- laugh with. 

- pray for.
- once again, educate.

- make effort to bridge the distance gaps. 

- make the in-present moments matter. 

As for hopes, I really hope that 2012 holds- 

- a book deal, (of course)!

- a vacation. 

- time with all three of my kids, together, in one location. 

- 365 days of everyone in my family remaining safe in body, heart and mind.
- less hardship and struggles than the last 3 years have held, for our family and extended family.

Do you have goals, hopes and plans for the new year? 

What I have read, and loved...

Between being a wife, a mom, sick for the second half of the year and staying pretty busy with freelancing and reading for work- I didn't have a lot of personal time for reading... When I did find time, {like over the summer when I read some really horrible books for books club} I often found myself disappointed. This is my (sadly small) list of books that I loved this year... 

Alice Bliss by Laura Harrington {novel}

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp {memoir/Christian}

Dash and Lily's book of dares by Rachel Cohn, David Levithan

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

The Magic Room by Jeffrey Zaslow

The Magic Room...

I was compensated for this BlogHer book club review, but the views expressed are all my own... 

The Magic Room is tucked into the second floor of a small town Michigan bridal boutique known as Becker's Bridal. Once a bride-to-be has found the dress she loves, she is escorted to this room that is aesthetically designed to help her feel her most beautiful... 

It's a lovely idea, this Magic Room, and it is the intended subject of Jeffrey Zaslow's latest book, of the same title. Reading, at first, like a compilation of various news interviews and columns, what the Magic Room becomes is a story about life and living. From the personal and heart breaking stories of the six Becker brides he focus's on, or the family tale of the Beckers themselves- the constant underlying theme to Jeffrey's latest work is life. Somehow he manages to captures the perspectives of every person he mentions, in a way that is not at all unfocused, even though it seems like it would be. 

The early consumer reviews for the Magic Room don't seem very favorable. I tried not to let that little Amazon star rating affect my perspective as I sat down and cracked the cover. I am really glad I didn't because I fell deeply in love with this book. Perhaps I read it the way it's author intended it- or maybe I got something different. I don't know. I laughed with the funny, radiated a bit with the proud and beautiful and cried on multiple occasions with the heart ache. By the time I closed that back cover, I felt like I'd made 8 new friends and I knew that I wanted my daughter's donning dresses from Becker's Bridal- whenever their special days occurred... 

The Magic Room is a beautiful story for mothers. It is a beautiful book for daughters. It is poetry written in real life and circumstance. It taught me more in the afternoon that I read it, than I have learned from a book in a really long time. I am really looking forward to sharing this book with you, and engaging in the weeks of discussions ahead... 

Twenty Five...

For seven days this blog has been blank. 

For seven days i have played and have loved. 

I've no excuse for such absence so to help you feel included- 

snippets and tidbits of 25 Wagner Christmas moments... 

1} Genny's peppermint truffles... 

 2} Amazing hot cocoa stirrers...

 3} An array of homemade barks. {pictured is chocolate mint}

 4} Snacks, and pumpkin chocolate chip bread...

 5} Twirling in the kitchen at...

 6} An impromptu Genny "hosted" kid little kid party..
 7} With homemade pizza...

 8} And delicious, real milk cocoa... {face paint optional}

 9} Toys exploding everywhere...

 10} a beyond amazing Ray Charles impersonator!

 11} Wild and Crazy Genny led games. {Nearly neck breaking, literally, at times!}

 12} Somehow making glittery leg warmers seem ultra bad ass...

 13} Silly photo moments...

 14} Super cute adorableness...

 15} Forced puppy snuggling...

 16} Patiently waiting for friends to stop by on Christmas Eve so we could open gifts...

 17} Present time finally arriving...

18} Christmas morning pretty... 

19} Christmas morning stockings... 

 20} The only thing I asked for... {and SWOON!}

 21} Christmas brunch, (sadly, unphotographed) 

 22} Family tradition of seeing a movie... We saw this: 

WE LOVED IT!!!!! 

 23} Christmas afternoon sleeping beauties... {Note the pepsi can}

 {She counts... she just woke up. Ultra grumpy. Plus she's in a 

sleeping beauty dress, so there.}

 So, remember the Pepsi can? She moved, Pepsi did not spill BUT 

Genny took it from her, and her hand stayed just as though 

she were still holding it. 

That Amanda, she's cute... 

 24} Major quality togetherness... {Can you believe Ky and Gen are less than a year apart???}

 25} New pajamas all around...

 AND ADDED BONUS:
A new bike!

So, how was your Christmas? 

You spin me...

Welcome to my life... 

Only maybe it spins a tad faster than that. OR, it just feels like it, when you're on the inside looking out. Either way, I pretty much feel like I am going to throw up now. 

I would like for this to be the part where I say that I am proud to say we are once again a homeschooling family. Truth is though, I am not. I pretty much thing is sucks, to tell you the truth... But, at the end of the day above every other selfish and non-selfish station I hold in life- I am a mom. A mom who loves my kid enough to do what is best for her and allowing her to slowly self destruct is certainly not what was best for her. 

She's pretty angry that it has come to this, but when she hugged me good night I couldn't help like she seemed a little relieved. 

And maybe she is. it's all a lot of pressure for a PTSD/RAD kid... How do you go through the day of 7th grade drama, cat fights and multiple teachers when inside you are just aching for EVERYONE to love you- as is? 

I want to scream at how it isn't fair. How I had just hit a good stride, work wise and was getting to a good stride writing... the, I wanted to shout for joy a little. Less likely to have so many germs. 

I don't know... There is a sweet simplicity to a home life. 

There are frustrations galore as well... 

but then I remind myself that we tried something, (something that I swore wouldn't be a trial) and it didn't work... no harm done- no looking back- JUST MOVING FORWARD. 

I am not scared, we've been here before... 

But I am not excited either. 

I love my daughter more than anything else- but these past few months I have grown to like her less and less. I hate to say that, but it's true and everyone in this house agrees. 

Honestly, I'd be surprised if Genny herself didn't agree too. I don't thinking she much fancies who she's become- but I think she felt she had no other choice. Hopefully we can fix that... 

In the meantime- round and round and round I go... 

a touch of Christmas sadness...

i'm watching the Bishop's Wife while catching up on some things computer related... Is it wrong that I want Cary Grant to win and I think her husband is a putz? Probably... Oh well. I don't care. Cary Grant will ALWAYS win, in my book... 

Have I ever told you that for my golden birthday (28th) my husband threw me a 1950's style Cary Grant dinner party? It was AMAZING! Truly incredible... One of the best nights of my life, for sure... 

My husband... He is quite the man. As sick as I have been, in the past 5 months, he really has been amazing to pick up the slack with pretty much NO HELP. He works tirelessly for a company that claims to notice, but doesn't seem to. He gives and gives and gives and truly remains the nicest and most giving guy. 

My point is pretty much that my husband is my Christmas wish. That something good happens for him. Something really, really good. He deserves it. the last 4 years have been SO HARD on him and I see how much they've taken their toll on him. These days he is tired and my heart just breaks for him. It feels like nothing happens easily for him (especially where work is concerned- and as far as work goes- he's been moved into the position of work consuming 95% of his energy/time) and I see him getting more and more ready to just give up a bit. I hate the thought of him being in the position...

in a lot of ways the Bishop's Wife is making me think of that. Unlike her putz of a husband though, Chw is my leading man. Even if the angel of Cary Grant rang my door bell tomorrow- Chw is the one for me. I would express my heart for my husband though, and continue wishing that the corner to turn, is in site soon... 

by the chimney with care...

So yeah, that's a lie. 

No chimney. 

No fireplace at all, actually, much to my serious dismay... 

We had an amazing stone fireplace/mantel when we lived in New York and then again, a beautiful marble fireplace and wooden mantel when we lived in Michigan. 

Here in Idaho- we get zilch along the "stockings to hang" scheme of things... 

Anyway, I don't spend a lot of money on Christmas decor. I find a piece that I really love and I'll add it to our "collection" (which is small.) This ICE (glass) valance and the advent calendar are my two FAVORITE things... {i love that star too. I do have a bitter one that hangs on the wall at Christmas time as well.} 

And, not that I'm bitter or anything, but those of us who are mantel-less have to be creative and just pretend anyway... 

And, even though the Army has him stuck in Germany, Lucas' stocking is hung by the- er, classic literature with care... 

And lastly, more ever green garland, (which smells AMAZING, since we do an artificial tree) and snow flakes over our dining table... 

Post note... i love dangling, glittery snow flakes. Just thought you should know that. :)