{Summer Book Club- July...}

Nothing like pushing it to the last minute...

Again.

For you guys online who participated in July's book, what did you think?

i have to say that, honestly, throughout the entire week of reading Enzo's story, I mentally searched for questions to ask. Most of my friends, outside of the internet, who read along were done well before I started. by the time I cracked the cover, i'd already been a part of so many vague discussions about the book that I really wanted the blog discussion to become something really substantial.

At 1:30 this morning, as my eyes were scarlet colored and i couldn't stop sobbing- as I'd just turned the last page- I especially couldn't think of anything to say. Every thought conjured more tears... I was a mess. Even so, i was pretty certain that the morning would bring with it loads of questions and thoughtful points to share.

I've got nothing. Nothing with which to gage a discussion.

I loved this book. From a writing standpoint, Garth Stein did such an amazing job creating this story from Enzo's perspective. I don't know that I have ever really read anything from the perspective of an animal like that, but it was flawless. So engaging... My beautiful friend Maggie, (who is super on top of things and already finished the august book!) who said she isn't a dog person or interested in racing at all, really loved the book. that says a lot right there...

I absolutely loved everything being from Enzo's perspective. Two things i know for sure: 1) i will NEVER look at anything remotely Zebra related, in the same way. 2) I've never been more grateful for my thumbs.

So often we, as people, get caught up in the details of our lives. We become so consumed in us, us, us. i found it so refreshing that we went through the completely engrossing details of Denny, Eve and Zoe's lives with an outside/inside view. It was all enraging, and frustrating and so many justifiable things- BUT, somehow living it through Enzo's eyes was therapeutic. Do you know what I mean? He was an insider- as close to that family, especially Denny, as anyone could possibly be. Even so, he was an outsider because he could never really be involved- due to his lack of opposable thumbs and his floppy dog tongue.

And his courtroom imaginings- hilarious...

This book goes on my top 10 list, easily. Loved it so much that I'm sort of a blubbering fool about it, with nothing really substantial to say.

What about you? What did you love about the book? NOT love about the book?

Let's talk about it!

On a side note: Have you seen the movie Fools Rush In with Mathew Perry? You know how the character of Isabelle believes in signs. Everywhere there are signs. Maybe not quite Catholic, and not quite as passionately- I possess the same character flaw. and believe me, it is a flaw. It's a flaw because nearly everything that happens stirs this little voice, in my head, who says "oh no... do you think this means... ???"

It's pretty ugly.

Anyway, in June when we had my Golden Retriever's birthday party (8th) we were happy and blissful. Within a week many things happened. 1) we had to change her food. 2) the pet food guy said he was surprised she was as well as she was for being such an old dog. 3) We were then told that we shouldn't expect her to live past 9, if that long. 4) Two, not one but TWO, friends had to put their dogs (old) down.

For those of you who don't know, i LOVE my dogs. love, love, love them... I get that there are people in the world who aren't dog people, but I am. I've lost a kitten (and I don't even like cats) and that is still one of the most devastating moments of my life. I'm not ready for that...

so, this entire book really, REALLY, emotionally affected me. In good ways, in bad ways.

Plus, I think my electric bill will go up because i totally leave the tv on for them now...

Quickly, quickly things do change...

This has really been a weird week...

Genny has been at kid's camp, through church, for four hours every morning. There are several families from our co-op there so this has been a great experience for her in regards to forging ahead in friendships and nurturing connection... Plus, she's just having a lot of fun, which is important too. So, while Genny has been gone I've been able to move throughout my ever growing/never shrinking "to do list". It's been amazingly gratifying and I find myself driving to get her, feeling so proud of all of the things I've accomplished...

But then... Then we sit at the table, her and I, as we eat our lunches and she tells me unending stories from the day. She's glowing like a star and I just think to myself, i love to see her like this. It warms my heart to see her allowing herself to simply be. No negativity, no pressure, no self hatred. she just is. Any mom of a RAD kid can tell you how incredibly rare this is. And, twice now (Monday & Tuesday) just as I'm thinking how beautiful she looks as she's free, she snaps. It's almost as though she hears my thoughts and they jolt her back to real life. From that point, the rest of the day is pretty much down hill. She rages, she destroys. She eventually is given the choice to be a kind and functioning part of the family or head to bed and scream out the rest of her day. Both days she chose the latter.

Last night, however, Chw was headed to a meeting and I threw caution to the wind. I got her out of bed and took her to the movies, and afterwards out for ice cream.

It was reckless. It was foolish. It was consequential.

But it was fun.

So much so, in fact, that I saw little flickers of that free Genny peek out, from time to time. Instead of marveling at the wonder, for fear she was eavesdropping on my thoughts again, I simply hugged her or held her hand and communicated an unending flow of love to her.

As i fell asleep I smiled at the realization that, regardless of how fleeting, the flickers of this carefree Genny are here- a year or two ago it was an unfathomable idea.

Progress, in any form, is still progress...

This morning, (far too early for summer days) as I dropped her off I saluted her and said "have a great day, soldier" in response to her outfit of camouflage. She grinned, saluted back and said "now you can be the proud mom of TWO soldiers!" (referring to her brother Lucas, who is at boot camp)

And though I'd never thought about it before, she really is a soldier, at war within herself.

~~~

In other news, I've had my new glasses for several days and it's amazing to live without eye strain headaches! I LOVE them. (both pairs. Because i work with computers I have computer glasses and regular ones.)

~~~

I only have 3 days to finish the July book and open up discussion for it. it's also taking me FOREVER to get through this month's chapter in the Happiness Project. the emphasis is on money- go figure... Feeling the pressure...

~~~

Lastly, i wanted to take a minute to talk about something really important. I hope that, by now, the people who read this blog know I'm not one to preach. I hold tight to my faith, but this blog has never been a religious one. I've never used it to catapult my beliefs either in regards to Christianity or politically. One thing I have done, from time to time, however, is to spotlight someone who needs prayer. It's no secret- i believe whole heartedly in the power of prayer. I've seen prayers answered countless times. I've lived them, in fact... As the wife in a reconciled divorce, who's aching heart begging in millions of prayers, to be a mom- and who has three amazing people that I'm so blessed to call my children.

I believe in prayer. I believe in support and love for those in need of prayer, (and really, aren't we all?)

There is a mom, who is related to someone very special to me, who just found out she has leukemia. she has a blog here, where she tells the story of her beautiful family, woven together by adoption, and more recently of her diagnosis.

If you are one to pray, PLEASE pray for her and her beautiful family. My heart is indeed heavy, this Wednesday morning...

{Snippets of Happiness- July 19-26...}

- Chw and I were lucky enough to get to catch a last minute showing up Inception, on the IMAX. Beautiful to look at...

- a dinner of amazing chinese food, with only the company of my husband.

- stumbling across the perfect birthday gifts for a friend of mine and a friend of Gen's.

- spending a lovely evening not having to focus on back and neck pain because I was paper crafting with my totally awesome friend.

- my new glasses... I have everyday life ones, and computer/writing ones. Both frames are adorable and i LOVE them!

- Speaking of writing, i got to spend a GLORIOUS day writing... it was heaven. Can not wait for an uninterrupted amount of time at my laptop to do it again!

- spending Saturday morning reading the book club book. Not finished yet, but LOVE it.

- critiquing people's choices on Bang for Your Buck with Genny. We LOVE this show and this girl is developing some style. :)

- an afternoon at the park with friends, it was warm and sunshine filled perfection.

- getting to catch up, over iced italian soda's and an air conditioned moxi, with a girlfriend I hadn't seen in months.

- glimpsing a sneak peak at Gen's latest drama gig when I arrived to pick her up a few minutes early. CUTE!

- she got a solo! good job, kiddo!

- getting my favorite wrap for lunch (two days in a row) with a side of steamed veggies and couscous. yum. lucky me!

- milk duds.

- the drive in with my family.

- at the drive in, my 5 year old nephew eating all of Genny's hot tamales and not even breaking a sweat.

- getting to cuddle my 6 month old niece, also while at the drive in. love her. We enjoyed Toy Story 3, thank you very much... (thankfully I'd seen it already so I was able to spend my time cuddling and kissing on her.)

- the large and vibrant moon on Saturday.

- having dinner and playing games with my brother-in-law and sister for my BIL's birthday. Super fun, with a Boise-State-Love sort of flair. :)

- the church service we attended. Putting it simply, it was amazing. Can't wait until we can return, in two weeks.

- I got to attend my first Craft Club meeting. Interesting, but fun.

- Great closeout bargains.

- that yesterday was my beautiful baby niece's 6 month birthday. Happy birthday, Kaileigh love...

- SOOO, what was your happiness, this past week?

{You Capture- Black & White...}

I didn't forget, but I didn't exactly seize every photo op, and I am a little disappointed... Even so, I feel like black and white is so symbolic about preserving and these are moments that needed time capsuled so I'm a little bit pleased as well...

For more You Capture entries, go here...