I love this photo.
Standing there, long after my quarter died I somehow held on to the hope that I could see farther than I'd thought possible.
See, I like that sort of thing.
I'm a control-kinda-girl...
In my undies, in my hose (when I wear them) and in my life...
Neat Freak= control freak, and it took me to my 30's to admit (or even see) any connections between the two.
I wish, tonight, that I could see far enough into the future to help me determine choices...
Everything really... From health complications to my father-in-law's cancer. From friendships to this possible reconciliation with my sister.
As we sat watching the RNC, I found myself wishing I could...
I don't know...
That's a hard thing to admit.
As Chw & I prepare to sit Gen down and talk to her about Grandpa's cancer and the next steps in treatment, I don't know how to reassure her without being dishonest.
This issue with my sister is SO MUCH smaller... And yet, so incredibly painful. I am vulnerable and so tremendously cautious. Genny hasn't even seen her yet, though she is dying to. She LOVES her Aunt S, and I know my sister really wants to see Gen. I understand things a lot more clearly than I did when I was just "speculating"... But, even so, there are the matters of her boyfriend. The matters of her running out on Genny, again.
On her running out on me. Again.
I don't want to perpetuate a cycle. And yet we do.
As American's, when it comes to our civic responsibilities...
As parents; as spouses; as friends...
I just with I could see.
See out enough to know that, somehow, everything will be ok.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Depth Perception...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
15 comments:
I think we all feel that way. It seems the world is in a state of flux right now and so much is uncertain. It has seeped into everyday life issues. Uncertainty and limbo is such a hard place to be. If only we could see the outcome. So much would be relieved. Good luck with all of these things you are dealing with. It does seem that things one day work themselves out. At least we have that to hold on to.
Somehow things always work themselves out, but I wish I could see into the future too--if only I could see the outcome I could sleep better
Everything WILL be okay. You have to stay positive despite the chaos that surrounds us NON-STOP.
I made up a new rule with my kids. Whenever they say they wish for something, I make them follow up that statement by saying one thing they're thankful for. It's worked really well (I've even been doing it myself). Try it. Maybe it will make things seem less overwhelming.
Momo- US TOO! Well, it's not new, but we keep a family gratitude journal and an ongoing list of things we're grateful for, at dinner... :)
It's extremely hard for control freaks like us to be able to let go and come to the understanding that we're not in control. We try so hard to reign in the chaos, on every level, and God is constantly whispering to us that YOU.ARE.NOT.IN.CONTROL. I struggle with this every single day. I didn't realize I had "issues" until I took my hubby into counseling for HIS problems. LOL. Amazing.
Every day is a new opportunity to for us to realize our potential and accept that there are things that our beyond our reach. I think that if we were able to see in the future it would weaken our desire to depend on the Lord - who is ultimately in control.
I love you my friend. I'll keep praying for the struggles you're facing, and the strength to endure.
Hi Misty ~ I don't know the issues with your sister, but I am sorry to hear that something is wrong. It's so hard when family members have falling outs (been there, done that, it'll never be repaired) . . . you're in my thoughts my friend. Hang in there - and go save that forrest from a terrible end! or get a new purse :)
M~ Here's to a new purse... Let Ash and Misty deal with the forest already. (and find a home for the kitties while they are at it!)
Sugar Coma~ You are so right... You are great for the perspective!
Sugar Coma's comment is right on.
Praying for you and all you face.
And I am not just saying that.
I know how you feel. I wish the same thing often, myself.
I'm with you. I refer to Mr. Covey on this one - let go of that which we can not control. I wish I could practice that myself!
Great post!
Ah, what a nice thing it would be to see into the future and be able to know what's coming, how to plan for it, and how to make things better. But then... like would be terribly dull, and not worth anything. I will keep you in my prayers as you work through the issues with her Aunt and her Grandpa's cancer.
You are so right about the neatness = control freak. My mom used to be this really easy going person (and messy). Now she is obsessed with organizing everything, but in her attempts she is a mess on the inside. She is constantly trying to control other people and it drives her insane when things don't go exactly as planned. This is hard for me to watch because I remember the person she used to be. I guess I live by the motto that the only thing we can control is what is inside of us. Everything else will fall into place if we stay positive. At least that is what I try to believe. I hope things work out for you and your sister.
Beautifully written post!
Praying for you, my friend.
Yep -- I'm feeling the exact same way these days.
Hope you and the family are doing well, and hope you enjoy the fall season! I bet it's beautiful there this time of year.
Post a Comment