Are you feeling tired? Overworked? Stressed out?
Take some time to just escape! Get away from it all...
Is money tight? Are finances bleak?
Then camping is right for you!
Just don't go with us.
No, seriously...
The plan: leave Friday evening, by 6.
What actually happened: After entire day of angry, screaming 9 year old- plans changed. Wagner family now had three options:
1) reschedule departure until Saturday morning...
2) call Grandma and BEG her to open her heart for the afore mentioned 9-year old monstrosity to spend the weekend with her, while we drive away as fast as we can!
3) Take Gen on scout trip, searching for a lovely and infertile pack of wolves who are hoping to expand their family...
We went with #1. The third choice wasn't really an option because we do love her and all, and as for the second choice- as tempting as it was, Chw's parents anniversary was this weekend and we do love them, more than that...
Saturday- 8:30 am....
Family in car, happy. Excitement is coursing through veins at the thought of adventures laying before them...
9:30 a.m...
Family conversation, fully engaged. On the table for discussion are such subjects as: White Water Rafting, Bears, Hiking, Swimming in God crafted bodies of water, etc...
10:30 a.m...
Following instructions to glorious camp destination, Wagner family begins to see much charred devastation and remains rather than trees and greenery.
11:30 a.m...
Wagner family slowly comes to realization that camping will not be occurring in what is now the Forrest Rehabilitation land, due to tragic fires last summer. Pass fellow campers who tell us to go to the lake, where they are camping...
12:30 p.m...
Leave lake. Exciting news: Local black bear visits lake camp ground EVERYDAY to pillage through coolers. Not-So Exciting news: Camp is FULL.
2:30 p.m...
After following suggested spot directions from Camp Host, we retreat to different lake only to find it full, and pretty stupid actually... While on road, listening to Opera music (separate story all on it's own) the sad Wagner family ends up behind raging psychopath on winding, mountainous roads.
{Psychopath= old motor home pulling trailer made out of old pick-up bed. NOTHING in trailer is tied down so with EVERY bump, contents fly up and land back in- as if it's some bad Mickey Mouse cartoon. NO... This isn't what made him a psychopath. This is: Motorhome door flies open with every turn. Turns that he takes AT LEAST 20 miles too fast.}
Sometime during Opera and after 2:30...
entirely large amounts of things fly out open motorhome door. Attempting to be nice and helpful, Chw honks his heart out and stops- (on dangerously windy mountain road) collects things and drives on to where Psychopath had pulled over. HOWEVER- once Psychophath sees us, he pulls back out into road as though we were merely asking him to wait for us. (????)
Chw honks again, Psycho stops, Chw gets out of car with their belongings, Psycho begins driving again.
Flat out irritated, at this point, I proceed to beat crap out of horn until even the deranged lunatic in the motorhome knows he's gone to far and it's in his best interests to at least take his foot off the accelerator and see what's going on...
Old man emerges from drivers side.
younger old man emerges from passenger side.
TWO CHILDREN step out of the motorhome.
Yes. The one with the open door, while speeding down windy roads.
Chw tells them the things flew out the OPEN DOOR (while I stayed in the car screaming "you know, the door those kids could fall out!!! Would you stop for them?) to which the men say "the door was open? Oh my..."
Really? How do you NOT know???
3:30 p.m...
$60 in gas. Have gone through entire tank. (Note to self- NOT economical.)
$3 in chocolate. (Need.)
4:15 p.m...
Stop at lodge. Eat french fries. Call mother in law, the Idaho outdoorswoman, and ask if she knows of camping options pretty much right where we are, OR we are going home. She comes through with suggestions.
6:30 p.m...
Camp is set up. Finally cooling off from 100 degree car ride and the 9 hours it took to get an hour and a half from home. (Sad...)
Go hiking. Gen attempts to kill me via: beating with stick. Chw mad. Thus concludes our hiking excursion.
Back to camp.
Boring Camp.
Nothing to do. (Note to self- bring cards.)
Sit.
Sit.
8:45 p.m...
cool enough to start fire.
No one is hungry. Make exciting camp fire dinner ANYWAY, which family eats in order to partake in the making of smores.
10:3o p.m...
Make Smores. Chw accidentally brands me with metal smores spike. Adrenaline rush could be the happiest part of day.
12 midnight...
Freezing. (note to self: Misty... when making sure warm clothes are packed for daughter and husband, pack for self too!)
Go to bed and crawl into lovely flannel pj pants. Fall asleep watching Flight of the Concords on IPOD while Chw and Genny stay up with fire and stories, in warm clothes I made sure they had.
Sleep for 2 hours, tops. Spend rest of night making sure Gen stays covered (SO COLD!!!) and listening to the Snoring Tabernacle Choir of the two of them...
6:50 a.m...
Pee in mountains, which (in my exhausted state) is soaked up by my beloved flannel pj pants leg...
Perfect.
Dress in non-pee soaked capri pants. Freeze.
Want to go home.
Breakfast is done, camp is packed up and we are home by noon.
Overall exciting news: NO EARWIGS while camping.
Even more exciting: NO lunatic Grizzly at our camp site.
Least exciting: Saturday from 8 a.m. until Sunday at noon...
(*** Don't forget to scroll down and enter the giveaway, if you haven't already!)
28 comments:
Sounds like quite the weekend... it was an adventure none-the-less eh?
And how nice of you to pick up the camper belongings!! Even if not appreciated by psychopaths.
"$60 in gas. Have gone through entire tank. (Note to self- NOT economical.)
$3 in chocolate. (Need.)"
That was my favorite.
Did your daughter have fun?
And, did you know you can make s'mores in the microwave now (thus eliminating the whole pesky camping thing!)?!
Oh no, that sounds miserable. I can't believe there were kids in that motor home. Good thing you guys stopped and told them. Though it sounds like it may not have helped. Here's hoping the next camping trip is better. Oh wait, did I just suggest that there may be another...shame on me.
Yeah, I knew there were many good reasons not to go camping. Thanks Misty.
I'm glad someone else feels that way about camping. I don't camp. Smores can't even make me do it.
you need a vacation from your vacation
;-)
husband wants to go camping and i'm trying to come up with excuses.....
in all actuality, I do love camping...
I really do...
It's just been awhile since we've gone and it was a rough trip...
Wow, you weren't kidding...I won't even blog about the mosquitos or children peeing in the woods...doesn't hold a candle to your tale!
One day this will be a fabulous memory...today, you can just be glad it is over and you tried!
So it's really that cold there overnight, even in July? That's amazing! I had no idea. (This is how much I know about your neck of the woods.)
Wow. I think I'll retract my suggestion to Hubby that we try camping with the kids for the first time next month...
Can't believe the stuff about the trailer. People are amazing.
OMG, that story was so funny. Sorry to laugh at your debacle, but it really was hilarious.
Would it make you feel better to know that you are not alone. We tried this a few years ago. It was a really warm Nov and we decided to go camping (WHO GOES CAMPING IN NOVEMBER???!!!) I spent the entire night making sure my kids were warm. It was the worst night of sleep EVER!! We haven't been camping since. We may attempt it again later this summer (not Nov).
Fraulein~
yeah. Down here it isn't too cold, until winter. But in the mountains, it is. Our cooler and water iced over so I am guessing it was in the forties. I want to take a weather temp thing, next time...
Jen~ totally laugh. I have...
Actually, i told Chw, last night, we couldn't camp again until September (due to schedule) and then the last time in October. He looked at me like i was crazy. He's sure we'll freeze to death.
Umm, dare I say that I am glad our plans changed from camping to NOT camping. LMAO!!
Again so glad that we are just going to chill close the bathroom in the warmth of the house...hehe.
I have never been camping. My belief that I never need to go camping has just been re-confirmed.
Hopefully your next trip will make up for this adventure!
This is the 3rd bad camping story I've read in the last week.
It sealed the deal. I am never... seriously NEVER going camping.
This is exactly why I do not camp! (Well, this ... and the fact that you have no electricity!) Ugh - you poor girl! And I drive behind psychopaths like this every other day in West Virginia! So yeah ... I feel your pain!
hehe $3.00 for the chocolate.. oh yes.. I know that need.. or it's a coffee... but chocolate works well when I'm stressed!
I knew there was a reason I don't camp these days... the
Your adventures sound strangely similar to ours!! What is WRONG with us?!?! (But thanks for the hysterical fit of laughter you gave me!)
I am sending you a chocolate cheesecake right now. ha! That sounded like a chevy chase movie!
♥ Melissa~
Pink Paper Peppermints
OMGoodness, that sounds like a miserable weekend.
I don't think my kids would even let me think about taking them camping.
Wow. You make it almost irresistible not to start planning a camping trip of my very own. It all sound so fabulous. No earwigs is a good thing I suppose. You poor dear!
Ok this was hilarious.. I'm sorry you had a not-so-good time, but the story out of it is FUNNY!!! This stuff happens to us and I just have to laugh.. after the fact!! I saw on a post... maybe camping in Oct.. DON'T DO IT!! (unless you have a camper) We went in Oct (hunting) and as we were saying our prayers under the stars James prayed "and be with Shari when she realizes the tent zipper is broken".. October FREEZING..I love to camp.. I love my camper even more!!!
Ok this was hilarious.. I'm sorry you had a not-so-good time, but the story out of it is FUNNY!!! This stuff happens to us and I just have to laugh.. after the fact!! I saw on a post... maybe camping in Oct.. DON'T DO IT!! (unless you have a camper) We went in Oct (hunting) and as we were saying our prayers under the stars James prayed "and be with Shari when she realizes the tent zipper is broken".. October FREEZING..I love to camp.. I love my camper even more!!!
omg, just cracking up here as this sounds like a family vacation i lived through every summer of my chilhood!!!
Makes me glad that all of my early camping experiences went fairly smooth, otherwise I would never go again!
Sounds like a great time ;)
I love that your brought a video iPod camping!
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